Failure: The Real F-Word

Hi, my name is Lynn, and I'm a perfectionist. I am unbelievably hard on myself, constantly expecting perfection and accepting nothing less. My fitness journey has been incredibly frustrating because, while I'm a perfectionist, I'm also a quitter. When things get tough, I give up. Always have. I've never been able to push through, to maintain the consistency needed for success.

But I have learned a lot over the last few months. I'm learning how to let go of those expectations and allow myself to be HUMAN. To make mistakes. To try new things, even if there's a possibility of failure (my F-word).

Since I started training for yesterday's 5k, I've run 50.9 miles. That's insane to me. I've run fifty miles this year. Really just in the past two months. Crazy.

The 5k I ran yesterday did not go according to plan. I had three goals:

1. Finish.
2. Run the whole thing.
3. Get a sub-40 time.

I only accomplished number one. It was rough. Thankfully, two of my small group friends stayed with me the whole time, because otherwise I would *not* have finished. It was so hot. I hate heat. My feet felt like I was walking on coals. And oh my goodness the hills. I'd been training on hills... but nothing like that. At one point, I felt sick. I thought I was going to pass out. April told me later that when she offered to run ahead and get me some water, she was going to also bring back a paramedic. But I finished. And I ran 2 of 3 miles. And I finished faster than my December 5k with my parents. That's progress. That's all I can hope for. Progress, not perfection. GRACE, not perfection.

I've signed up for the runDisney Virtual Running Shorts Series - three 5Ks, four Mickey Finisher Medals, and 9.3 miles of fun! The first race is the Yellow Shoes 5k, then the Red Pants 5k, and finally the White Glove 5k. I'm going to continue training with the goal of improving my time on each race. Even if it's just by one second. I'm looking to constantly improve. That's all I can try to do at this point. Keep moving forward!