Oy With The Poodles Already!

September was a huge fail. Like, HUGE fail. I started off great, to the gym each of the first three days.... and then I only went twice more that month. It was just pathetic, honestly. Didn't hit my step goals, ate fast food waaaaaaay too much, had too much soda, didn't do my lists past September 2nd, and am at a solid 200.0 pounds. Sigh.

So I have a new accountability partner (thanks, Victoria!), new exercise DVDs (Cize, which I've been wanting to try for a few months now), and a new Fitbook Lite. I've determined that if I don't write things down, I'm just setting myself up for failure. It's why I still have a physical planner. So this month, I'm writing down everything: fitness, schedule, budget... the whole shebang. I'm doing cash envelopes for my budget - the only thing I'm using my card for is gas. But every purchase is being written down in my new budget book. I'm reading through Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover, and it's really helpful. I've always had a budget... but I haven't always kept up with it like I needed to. That's where the cash envelopes come in. I'm almost done with my $1000 emergency fund (had been depleting it over the last few months due to compulsive shopping), and then I'll start my debt snowball. The only debt I have right now is my car (which I pay off in May), a medical card that isn't gaining interest as long as I pay on time (don't hate me, Dave Ramsey!), and my student loans (ugh). But my current plan is to use any excess money (fingers crossed for a Christmas bonus) towards my debts, and once my car is paid off, I'll use that money towards my student loans each month, nearly doubling my payment each month.

I had no idea when I started this blog that I'd end up getting "fit" in areas of my life other than physical. I know I'm not keeping up with it like I should, but I've been struggling to keep my head above water lately, if I'm being honest. Adulting is HARD, ya'll. I want to go back to elementary school where the biggest problem I had was whether or not my teacher would have the newest Replica book or if I had enough change to get ice cream at lunch. For now, I'm just doing the best I can.

September Goals

I decided to try writing down my goals for the month to try to get out of this funk I've been in. My weight keeps yo-yoing because I'm not being consistent with my habits.

Goal #1 - Go Green
I want to hit my step goal every day. Not gonna lie.. this is gonna be tough. I think I'm gonna make this a two-part goal: the main goal will be "hit 70,000 steps each week," which would allow me a day of rest as long as I make up the steps on another day, and the secondary goal would be to hit my step goal every day. I don't want to set myself up for failure (because I remember how much my feet hurt when I did my one-week-go-green-challenge), but I also don't want to set the bar too low. I want to push myself. Hence, two-part goal.

Goal #2 - No Fast Food
This is for my health *and* for my wallet. I've been really really bad the last two months. Spent *waaaaaay* more than I should've on food. That has to stop. I actually had CFA for lunch today, so this one will go through October 1 to make up for today. Confession: I also had Krystal's for dinner. Sort of a last meal. I know, I'm pathetic, let's move on. I've decided that I can have CFA if I get grilled nuggets and fruit or a salad. No fries.

Goal #3 - Cut Down On Soda
Once again, I've been really bad here. I'd gotten down to 0-1 cokes per day for a while, but now I'm back up to 2-3. God, I'm so embarrassed. I can't even believe I'm typing this right now. But it's the truth. Setbacks happen. What matters now is how I move forward.

Goal #4 - Listers Gotta List
I'm going to take a few minutes each day to complete The Reset Girls' September list prompt-of-the-day. I'll be using one of my Maybooks to journal the prompt as well as anything else that I feel the need to write.

Goal #5 - Reach Goal Weight
I will get down to 194 by the end of the month. Fact. Period. The End.

Can you tell that I'm tired? The explanations for each goal got shorter and shorter. Honestly, the only reason I'm not already asleep is because my sheets are in the dryer. And I'm so tired that I'm seriously considering just sleeping on my mattress so that I don't have to get up, walk to the laundry room, come back, and make the bed (one of my LEAST favorite tasks, second only to cleaning to shower).

Also, an update on my Fundraising Challenge: thanks to Megan, I've gotten my first set of miles. I've completed 7.41 miles thus far (I'm only counting my workouts rather than my total distance per day) but will have cardio days coming up where I hope to make a bigger dent in the total distance.

Okay, I can't think straight anymore, so I think we'll just end it here. Peace out, girl scouts.

I Did Not See This Coming

I've always been pretty open about my anxiety and depression. Lately, I've been pretty proud of myself for having them under control... or so I thought. To modify one of my favorite Rachel moments from Friends:

I have spent so long trying to manage my depression that I got completely blindsided by my anxiety. And everyone knew it before I did. Looking back, I'm not sure how I missed it.

I cannot seem to get enough sleep, even when I get a ton.

I am cranky all the time (my coworkers can attest to that).

My short-term memory is shot. In recent years, I've needed to write things down to ensure that I do them, hence my Erin Condren planner (SO worth the money!). However, in recent weeks, if I don't immediately write it down, I immediately forget. My boss asked me to finish fixing his tea. He walked into the conference room, I stood up... and promptly forgot why, so I sat back down. I went to refill my water bottle 45 minutes later, and I noticed my boss's mug, with a tea bag sitting in it, and remembered what I was supposed to do. I can't think of words.. SIMPLE words. I will blank in the middle of sentences. I even fumble over words in Disney songs that I've been singing since I was five.

I've had dreams lately that I swore were real. They weren't particularly vivid dreams, but I woke up thinking that what happened in the dream was real life. I dreamed that a friend from college got engaged. A few days later, I looked on Facebook for the post... it wasn't there. He's not engaged. I dreamed that my ex-boyfriend and I got back together (even though he's married.. minor detail) and that he was going to come to the cornhole tournament with me this weekend. When I woke up, I actually typed a text to a coworker to tell him that I found a partner for him in the tournament before I realized that it hadn't actually happened. I don't know if that even makes sense, but it's freaking me out. What's real? What isn't? How will I know?

I just feel crazy lately. I hate to use the term so loosely, but that's the best way for me to verbalize it. I started talking to my best friend, and she immediately said that I was too stressed because I had too much on my plate. I talked to my roommate later that evening, and she said the same thing, without even knowing what Melissa said. I've been reading some blogs and articles, watching some videos, and doing some breathing exercises today to see if that helped, and I felt much more grounded today. I'm still finding the balance in taking care of my anxiety and depression, but if you see me drifting to one side or the other, please say something. I probably haven't realized it (like this time) and need a little check to keep my alignment together.

All of this was to say that the struggle never ends. It takes constant vigilance! (Anyone?) I'm glad that I have a great support group: friends who are willing to discuss things with me; who look out for my well-being, even if it's something I might not want to hear; who encourage me to take care of myself. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. Thank you for being my friend.

Also, I'll just leave this right here...

Fundraising + Fitness Challenge

This year is our company's 130th anniversary, so they issued a challenge to all 56 offices across the world to raise £130,000 (more than $200,000) for our favorite charities around the world to mark this special year.

In order to reach our fundraising goal, members of our offices are cycling to raise money and awareness for the National Multiple Sclerosis Society. This cause is very important to Gleeds, as several of our employees and their family members have personal ties to this debilitating disease.

We have participated in the past two bike and walk events in Atlanta. This year, we are expanding our reach. Two of our EVPs, Chris and Stuart, will be riding 100 miles in the Atlanta Bike MS event on September 19 *AND* 100 miles for the San Francisco Bike MS event the following week. They will be featured in an article by the National MS Society, and we are excited to start our bi-coastal charity rides for this great cause.

I decided to make this a little more applicable to me, since I don't cycle: for every dollar I raise, I will walk/run a mile. The timeline kind of depends on how much I raise -- if I raise $25, I'll finish those miles by the end of the month. If it's $500, it'll take me til the end of the year, most likely. But I am up to the challenge!

This will be a mutually beneficial relationship, as I will raise money for our charity, our company will meet our fundraising goal, and I will get fitness benefits out of it. Win-win-win!

Every donation helps, so please give what you can!

I will keep you up to date with my progress.

Unexpected Motivation

Today's Motivation Monday came from an unexpected source. I got a message from my best friend from middle school, saying, "I know this is random, but I have no one else to share my exercise journey with and I LOVE following your lynngetsfit IG. You're an inspiration! Keep it up -thumbs up-"

That was exactly what I needed today. It was a rough day. Lots of anger and frustration, which normally pushes me towards food. Instead, I went to the gym and did an hour on the treadmill on an incline. I caved on the way home and grabbed fast food because the idea of getting home at 8 and then spending 30 minutes waiting for my salmon to marinate and another 30 minutes for it to cook made me want to eat my hand. Of course, now I don't have lunch for tomorrow... maybe I should've thought that through :-/

Anyways, my friend and I were talking about our exercise journeys, and she admitted that her long-term goal is to do the Disney Princess Half. "A girl can dream, right?" I told her that one of *my* goals is to do a half marathon, and I'd love to do the Disney Princess one. We looked into it, and the 2016 race is already sold out, so we are planning on doing the 2017 race. I'm excited! Katie, Emily, and I had talked about it before, so I'm hoping to get a group together to go down and do the race together :D

After making this exciting plan, I got curious about how many miles I've done this year, wondering if I needed to replace my running shoes any time soon. According to my Fitbit, I've done 450+ miles in 2015. That's not including the three months that I wasn't wearing my Fitbit. Somehow, seeing that number makes me really proud. I mean, it seems pretty small in comparison to how many miles a high school cross country athlete would do. But that is the number of miles from Atlanta to Orlando. That's insane to me. Here's a little breakdown by month from May to now.

May: 33.5 miles (only 12 of 31 ones wearing Fitbit)
June: 94.17 miles
July: 129.33 miles
August: 97.66 miles (only 24 of 31 days so far)

I just can't get over it. I've walked/ran 300 miles in the last 3 months. What? That's enough to inspire me to push harder. I need to get back to running, not just walking, when I'm on the treadmill. I really just want it to be cold again so that I can run outside. There is no better feeling that running on the asphalt on a chilly winter evening!

Honesty Is The Best Policy

So I had planned to do a vlog tonight, but I'm having issues getting the video to upload, so I'll just type it out the old fashioned way.

Thank you.

Thank you to everyone who called, texted, commented, tweeted, emailed, etc. in response to my post from last week about my new tattoo, my depression/anxiety, and what's going on with me lately. I was overwhelmed by the response. It was truly humbling. People that I never would've expected to say anything took time out of their lives to encourage me, and that means the world to me. I cannot say thank you enough. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

In the spirit of full disclosure, I am disappointed to announce that I have gained some weight back. I'd gotten down to 197.1, but this morning, I was at 201.4. Not how I wanted to start my week, but I have no one to blame but myself. I know that I haven't been eating right and I haven't been working out hard enough. I got lazy, and that has to stop. I've been meal planning on the weekends but not meal prepping, and that's been a huge downfall for me. This week, I'm determined to stick to my plan and be down when I weigh next Monday. One of my favorite instagram fitness friends posted this today:

"There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when it's convenient. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses; only results."

That's my mantra for the week. The only day I won't be at the gym will be Thursday, but I still plan on hitting my step goal that day.

Never Say Never

Today's Motivation Monday isn't about physical health; it's about mental health. A few weeks ago, one of my favorite teachers from high school posted a picture of her new tattoo, which she got to support two students who attempted suicide last year and were battling depression. I have never wanted a tattoo before; in fact, I swore I wouldn't ever get one. But when I saw hers, I wanted it.

So I thought about it for a few days, then I told a few people (Melissa, Heather, and my parents), and I still wanted to do it. Heather told me what to expect, and then my parents said they wanted to get ones with me. We all battle depression, and Mom and I battle anxiety as well.

Project Semicolon is a faith-based non-profit to give hope to those battling depression, anxiety, self-harm, addiction, and suicidal thoughts. This all came at the perfect time; I decided to do this, my friends and parents supported my decision, and then on Wednesday, I had a bad episode. So bad that I had to leave work. That sealed the deal for me. I was gonna get the tattoo.

I was nervous to get it, but it wasn't anything like I expected. It really only *hurt* twice, closer to my wrist. It's small and clean and perfect. I'm super happy with it! I'm not sure if I'll ever get another one, but if this process has taught me anything, it's this: never say never.

I've been incredibly overwhelmed with the response. I wasn't expecting this reaction, but I've gotten comments, texts, and words of encouragement from so many people. Thank you all, from the bottom of my heart. And to anyone out there who is struggling with depression, anxiety, self-harm, addiction, or suicidal thoughts, PLEASE reach out to someone. Reach out to me! I don't care if you're my best friend in the entire world or someone I've never even met. Talk to someone. You are not alone. There are so many people who want to help you. YOUR STORY ISN'T OVER YET.

Non-Scale Victories

I decided to take my measurements this morning. Most of you know that all of my excess weight is in my torso. My arms and legs aren't too bad, but my waist, hips, and chest are where I will see the most change.

In two months and some change, here are my changes:

Weight: 208.8 --> 197.1
Neck: 14 1/8" --> 14"
Bust: 44" --> 42"
Chest: 38" --> 37 1/2"
Waist: 48" --> 46"
Hips: 47" --> 46"
Arms: 12 7/8" --> 12 1/2"
Thighs: 25 1/2" --> 25 1/4"
Calves: 15 1/8" --> 15"

So I've gone down in all aspects, some more than others. But these are some great non-scale victories! I mean, I consider them non-scale victories. Technically they're still numbers driven.. oh well.

I had another non-scale victory last week. I was able to wear one of my favorite dresses, a red dress with white birds on it, for the first time since I was teaching. Halfway through the day, I started wishing that I'd waited til I'd lost a little more weight to wear it, but I still fit in it. That's a win!

I bought some shorts at Target a few weeks back. They fit great, but they were too short for my liking. I don't need board shorts, but I'd like to have my butt covered at all times, kthxbi. It was nice to be able to fit into them though. One day I'll get to where I can wear regular shorts without being so self-conscious. It'll just take time.

What A Week

I cannot remember the last healthy meal I ate. It's been two weeks of crap, and man, can I feel it. I'm incredibly lethargic all the time. I'm not sleeping well. I don't really know if my (lack of) fitness is affecting my depression or vice-versa, but I had a major episode on Wednesday. It seemed to come out of nowhere. I was at the dentist that morning and felt fine, but as soon as I got to work, it hit. Any time someone spoke, I wanted to cry. If I had to speak, I *did* cry. I finally ended up going home, declining trivia, and laying in bed all night. Thankfully my family, friends, and coworkers are all incredibly supportive. I cannot imagine going through this without support.

Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to getting on the scale on Monday. I am ready to get back on track. I'm working on my meal plan for the week in my new meal planner from May Designs. My lunches are going to be pretty boring all week: chocolate Shakeology and a turkey dog. Snacks to include apples (I'm almost out of my beloved Pink Ladies :( That will not be a good day), WW string cheese, carrots with ranch, hummus with pretzels, and Kind bars. Dinners are trickier, since I don't get home until late, but I am determined to stick to it this week. My body and my bank account need me to stop eating fast food every day.

My friend Victoria is joining LA Fitness tomorrow, so I'm excited to have a new workout buddy! She's going to try a step class with me on Monday evenings and a Bodyworks class with me on Saturday mornings, plus she wants to try Zumba... she might be able to twist my arm into joining her, but I'm just not coordinated enough for that.

I will have something very exciting to share in a few days. I'm incredibly nervous and incredibly excited at the same time. I hope you will like it as well!

All Aboard The Struggle Bus

It's taken longer than usual, but I have hit a wall. I'm working out, but I'm bored. And I'm not eating well at all. Confession: I ate McDonald's four times last week. And Krystal's tonight. On the plus side, I still managed to be down 2.5 pounds this morning (I swear, I only lose weight when I eat like crap. WTH.)

I'm just bored. I enjoy Bodyworks and Step with Alison, but cardio days are slowly killing my soul. I take a book to read, but halfway through my workout, I can't read anymore for the sweat in my eyes. I try to listen to music and end up wanting to skip every song. There are never good shows on the tv while I'm at the gym, or if there are, it's at my home gym and I can't get the audio.

This week is going to be extra hard due to my after-work commitments. Canstruction meeting tomorrow, trivia on Wednesday, and staying after work for the cable install on Thursday. I'm gonna change into my workout clothes tomorrow before the Canstruction meeting so that I don't have a choice to cancel my workout afterwards. Wednesday is my off day, and on Thursday, I think I may take my step to work and just do some videos while the cable guys are installing their stuff. That's the plan, anyways. Maybe it'll happen, maybe it won't. I'm just so tired.

Foodie Friday: Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Breakfast Muffins

One of my staples lately is my breakfast muffins. I modified the recipe from the SkinnyTaste cookbook to something that works better for me.

What you'll need:

• 12-count muffin tin
• medium mixing bowl
• scale (optional)
• olive oil spray
• 6 eggs
• 6 egg whites (I used the Kroger brand -- 1 cup = 6 eggs)
• 3 oz. turkey sausage (I used Jimmy Dean turkey sausage crumbles)
• 2 oz. swiss cheese (I used the Kroger brand)
• 3 oz. ham, shredded (I used Oscar Meyer honey ham)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Spray muffin tin with olive oil cooking spray.

Break 6 eggs into mixing bowl.

Add 6 egg whites to mixing bowl. Beat well.

I use my Ozeri scale to weigh the next three ingredients, but you can just add as much as you want. I place a bowl on the scale, tare it, and then weigh 3 ounces of turkey sausage (I did 2 ounces this time because that was all that was left in the bag.), cook/heat according to the instructions, and add to the mixing bowl.

Repeat the process with 3 ounces of ham (I just tear mine into small pieces, but you can actually cut it up if you'd like. I'm just not that patient.)

and 2 ounces of swiss cheese.

Mix together well.

Once mixed, scoop 1/4 cup into each muffin hole.

It should fill most of the hole.

Cook for 20-24 minutes. Our oven is really hot, and I usually cook for 22 minutes, so you may need to do it a little longer.

Silly me forgot to get the "after" picture, but I've posted them on my instagram in the past if you're interested. What I love most about these is how easy they are. I make a week's worth, but you can make more and freeze them. I pack up ten muffins (5 days worth) and take them to work on Monday. I can't eat first thing in the morning, so I drink a Slimfast High Protein shake (Chocolate) on the way to work along with an entire Camelbak of water. Around 9, I eat the muffins, and that tides me over until lunch. I get 35 grams of protein in 313 calories!

Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Breakfast Muffins
1 serving: 2 muffins
Calories per serving: 133
Fat: 7.2g
Cholesterol: 199.3mg
Sodium: 315.9mg
Potassium: 145mg
Carbohydrates: 1.6g
Protein: 15.2g

Team Green Challenge: Completed

Last week, I made a goal to reach 10,000 steps each day. Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday were easy, as I go to the gym straight after work. On Wednesday, I go straight from work to trivia, so I had to work hard to get my steps that day. I did a step workout when I got home, and halfway through the video, it started buffering! So for the next 20 minutes, I just made up my own combinations of steps. It was tough, but I got there.

On Saturday, I slept in because I hadn't slept well throughout the week. I went to my hair appointment, and I thought for sure I'd hit my goal because we were going to a Braves game that evening, but I didn't quite make it. I was just shy of 7,000 steps. The next day, I hit 14,000 steps to make up for it, and yesterday I hit my goal too, so overall I'd call the #teamgreen challenge a success.

I'm still struggling with my food intake though. For the most part, I stay around my calorie intake, with or without my extra gym calories, but I'm getting lazy. This is where I tend to fall apart. I can't resist when people want to go out to lunch. I'm not excited about the food; I'm excited about the fellowship. My waist and my wallet don't approve. I think I may try the Dave Ramsey envelope system next month, just for eating out. If I don't have the cash, I don't go. Maybe that will help.

My reward tank top arrived yesterday! I'm wearing it tonight to BodyWorks :) I'll try to remember to take a picture and post to Instagram (@lynngetsfit).

In the spirit of honesty, I didn't lose this week. I gained 0.2 pounds. But I'm still under 200, and that's what matters! (Also, I keep accidentally typing or saying "under 100".. if that ever becomes true, someone seriously needs to have an intervention. That's too much.)

Today's Transformation Tuesday isn't about the physical. It's about the mental. That is a HUGE struggle in the weight loss journey. If your mind isn't in it, you won't make it. Lately, this phrase has been showing up everywhere: Progress, Not Perfection. It is a process. It takes time. You'll move forward and back, and that's okay... as long as you keep going. No giving up! I'm determined this time. I want to look back at this blog next year and say, "look how far I've come." I want to be able to look in the mirror and like what I see. Even if I'm only five pounds lighter in a year, I'll be happy. Down, down, down we go.

Transformation Tuesday

My first Transformation Tuesday. I decided to take a picture of me in June 2014 and one from June 2015 to compare.

June 2014 -- at the Georgia Aquarium for the penguin encounter with my favorite triplet

June 2015 -- at the Georgia Aquarium again (pure accident) for my bestie's birthday

the only fullbody shot of me from the day, goofing around and wearing the baby carrier with no baby

Besides the obvious difference in hair color, check out my face. That's a roughly 20 pound difference in weight. The bottom picture is slightly deceptive because the waist strap is holding in my love handles, but still. I'm significantly thinner than I was last year, and WAY more comfortable. I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

First Weight Loss Goal Destroyed!

I am incredibly happy to announce that for the first time in well over a year, I am under 200 pounds!

199.5!!!!!

It's barely under, but it's there! This was after two weeks of not sticking to my meal plans at ALL and not working out as much as I should have. I was absolutely dreading getting on the scale this morning, thinking, "This is *not* how I want to start my week off." I'm sure glad I did! It made my awful commute into work tolerable. All day, when something has started to bug me, I repeat, "Nothing can get you down today. You are back in onederland." The power of positivity, ya'll!

Also, with my goal achieved, I now get my reward:

Purchased this baby this morning! Can't wait for it to arrive. Now I have to decide what my next reward will be. I already know my next goal. It's not far from this one, but it's a milestone: 194. That'll be 25 pounds down. This reward will be smaller since it's a smaller step to the next goal. Any ideas?

On another note, I won both of my dietbets from last month. I was frustrated at the end because I was on my period and carrying more water weight or bloat or something, and I was gonna lose, so I may have fudged things a bit. But it's only because I was THERE for a WEEK until the day before the bet ended. I sure hope ya'll believe me, because I'm not gonna cheat myself this time.

I'm ready to get back into my routine. Between vacation, sickness, and work travel, my workout buddy hasn't been able to get to the gym with me in almost a month! We're both pretty stoked about Bodyworks tomorrow.

This week, I've decided to challenge myself: go green. By that, I mean, meet all of my Fitbit goals. I recently upgraded from the Flex to the Charge HR, and I am LOVING it. My current step goal is 8,000, only because it's so hard to get to 10,000 when I do weights instead of cardio. But this week, I'm upping my goal to 10,000, and I'm going to meet it every day. Wednesday will be the toughest day, since I go straight from work to trivia, so it'll just have to be a late evening of step videos or something. But it's going to happen. I'm already at 5200 steps for the day, and I haven't even left work yet! Normally I'm between 2k and 4k during the work day. Small victories :)

Motivation Monday

This week's Motivation Monday has a lot of great motivational tips that we can unpack.

Take It One Day At A Time
The first one is the most important one for me. It may be different for you, but I know that I can't look too far forward or I'll get discouraged by how far I have to go. I also have to remember that I can't look backwards. I may have a bad day, or even a bad week, but I can't go back and change it, so why worry? I just have to remember that today is a new day and I can make better choices.

Surround Yourself With Positivity
Not just positivity but encouragement. I have been lucky to have great coworkers who are onboard with my new lifestyle choices and are okay with me having to say "no" to things because of them. I had to decline an invitation to a happy hour on Thursday because 1. I shouldn't be drinking (because of calories and because it gives me headaches) and 2. I need to be at the gym. I won't be able to go next Thursday because of a work teambuilding event, so I have to make it happen this week.. My coworkers and friends have also been great about picking somewhere that I can eat healthy when we go out. My roommate doesn't complain when I fill the fridge with my groceries for the week, which take up SO much more room than bad stuff. (BTW, it still irritates me that it costs more and takes up more time and space to eat healthy. That's just backwards!)

Create A Dream Board
Dream boards aren't really my thing, but I think that's because I'm not really a visual person. I'm an auditory learner, followed by kinesthetic, then visual. But I know that they can be a great tool for some people, so I encourage you to try it out! I've seen lots of different tools for this, but one that I've considered is keeping a picture of me at my smallest in eyesight in my room so that I am constantly reminded of where I want to end up. Another will be discussed in the Recognize Your Progress section below.

Ask Yourself What You Want, And Make Realistic Goals Accordingly
Let's be real: it's not realistic for me to want to be 110 pounds. For my height, even with my (believe-it-or-not) small frame, I should end up between 130 and 160 pounds. 110 would make me look emaciated, aka not healthy, and that's not what I want. My end goal here is not to weigh a certain amount. Sure, it's a way for me to measure my progress, but if I end up as a healthy-looking size 4 who weighs 165 pounds, I'm not gonna beat myself up about it or try to lose more weight. My goal is to get healthy and stay there, whatever that looks like.

Reward Yourself
I am a big believer in intrinsic motivation, but sometimes you just need some external rewards! I've already said that this tank top will be my reward for getting back into one-derland. My dad has also told me that he'd better be the first person that finds out about me reaching my goal, and I'd say he's earned it. None of my successes so far would've been possible without him. He has been financing my weight loss efforts. He has paid for my new running shoes, some new workout clothes, my Polar FT4 heart rate monitor, my home step platform, home weights, and my gym membership. Both of my parents have been incredibly supportive, so this isn't to discount my mom at all. She texts me support often, which I'm thankful for.

Believe In Yourself
This is key. If you don't think you can do something, you'll create a self-fulfilling prophecy. I used to think that I couldn't do a pushup, so I never tried. During my Jillian Michaels Beginner Shred video, she said, "Just TRY. What's the worst that could happen?" I was in the comfort of my own home, so I tried.. and I did it! Now, I couldn't do more than one in a row without losing my form, but I did one. I proved to myself that I could. I try things in classes at LA Fitness, because if I fail, who cares? If I drop the weight, if my legs shake so much that I fall over, who cares? The people in the room won't laugh; they'll celebrate because they know that I gave it my all. And the next time I try, I'll get further.

Case in point: In January, I could hardly run for 30 seconds without getting winded. Now I can run for 15 minutes. It is possible!

Acknowledge Your Attributes
Honestly, I'm kind of struggling to determine what this one means, but here's how I'm taking it: accept the things that make you who you are. If you're like me and "predisposed" (not quite the right word, but it'll do) to be lazy, that's okay. You just need to find a way to fight that. For me, it's been writing down in my planner what I plan to eat and when I plan to workout for the week. If it's written in vibrant colors in permanent ink, I'm more likely to do it. I don't want someone to see my planner at work and say, "How was your step class yesterday?" and not be able to answer them. Planning has always been a great stress-reliever for me, but it's made my life so much easier lately.

Recognize Your Progress
It's hard to see your progress when you're in the moment, so I'm trying to photograph myself every few weeks so that I can compare the change. I'm also learning to measure progress in my weight/inches lost.. but also in my gains. I can do more squats than I used to before getting tired. I switch out the lighter weight for the heavier one with some of the arm moves in our BodyWorks class. I run further than ever before. Those are huge!

I also love this idea that has been all over pinterest:

I haven't made one yet but plan to this week. I worried about it being discouraging by looking at how much I have to lose, but I know that seeing the other side fill up will be incredibly motivating! This is a great representation for those who are visual learners.

Visualize Accomplishing Your Goals
I mentioned above that I have a picture of myself at my smallest, right around my high school graduation, posted in my room. I look at it often to remind me where I want to get. I think about how I'll feel when I can walk into a store and buy a great pair of shorts that fit me well. How it'll feel when I run into an old friend and see them do a double take. That feeling is what keeps me going.

Be Kind To Yourself
Not every day is going to be perfect. You're going to eat badly or skip a workout. Or the devil inside your head will tell you that you can't do it. That you're not good enough. That you don't deserve it. Listen to me:

That is a LIE. You deserve to be happy with yourself. Don't let anyone tell you differently. You. Are. Worth. It.

Don't Compare Yourself To Others
I am notoriously bad about this. I get really frustrated when my friends lose weight faster than I do. When they can just cut out certain foods and drinks like it's nothing while I constantly crave them like an addict. When they can eat whatever they want, never work out, and not gain a pound. It's not FAIR. But you know what?

Can I just say how much I miss this show?? The new one is decent, but it's not the original.

Anyways, life is tough. Life isn't fair. I am going to have to work HARD to get where I want to be and stay there. It sucks, but it is what it is. There's a reason for it. I may not know what it is yet, but there is a reason that this doesn't come easily to me.

This ended up being WAY longer than I intended it to be. Thanks for sticking with me. If you made it, go grab an apple and take a lap around your office, house, neighborhood... something. Get up. Get active. Every step counts.

Lynn and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Week

Ya'll, this past week, I was terrible. Minimal workouts and terrible eating. Plus no blogging. I need to be smacked. I got really out of my workout routine, and I didn't meal plan on Sunday. However, my dietbets both end this week, so I really need to push myself over the next few days. I've got a few pounds to go, but I'm SO close!

Yesterday, I decided to sleep in rather than go to BodyWorks, so I went to the gym in the afternoon to run. I started off with a warm-up walk for 5 minutes at 3.0mph, 5 minutes at 3.5, 15 minutes at 4.5, 5 minutes at 3.3, 5 minutes at 4.7, 5 minutes at 3.5, 5 minutes at 4.5, 5 minutes at 3.7, 5 minutes at 4.7, then a 5 minute cooldown. Did you notice the best part of that?

I RAN FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES. STRAIGHT.

That's the longest I've run in an embarrassingly long time. When I restarted the C25k process in January, I'd gotten up to running 8 minute intervals. This was almost twice as long! This is my favorite non-scale victory to date :D

And now I need to get some sleep, but I'll leave you with a sweaty selfie for Selfie Sunday!

Missing My Workout Buddy

Alison is out of town this week, relaxing at the beach (and working out - we've been texting each other proof pictures lol), and it has been a challenge to get to the gym. It's so much easier when I know that someone is counting on me to go. You're not as likely to cancel on someone else, but when that person isn't here, the thoughts creep into your head... "Skip the gym today." "Fine, you can workout, but don't go to that step class. Just go workout at home." "Just go to the gym and get on the treadmill. It's the same thing."

With our AC going out at home this week, my sleeping has been off. I couldn't sleep well when we didn't have AC, waking up nearly 15 times throughout the night. Then last night, it was fixed, but the house hadn't completely cooled down, so I didn't hit deep sleep til it was almost time to wake up, which ended up leaving me more tired. I am dragging today. So naturally, these thoughts of skipping step class tonight keep coming into my head. But I will not do it. I forgot to bring my workout clothes in from the car, so I'm thinking about going down there right now to get them so that I change before I even leave. All I want to do is go home and sleep! But yesterday was my rest day (trivia), so I can't skip today.

Motivation Monday

Man, today was a crazy day. It was super busy and a little stressful at times, and normally that would be enough for me to say, "Nah, I'm just gonna go straight home and go to bed early tonight." But not anymore. Now I use it as motivation at the gym. I run out my stress. I lift away my anxiety. It's awesome.

So for today's Motivation Monday, I've included two quotes that have really hit home with me lately.

It's crazy how true this is. I used to think that I didn't have time to workout. I mean, I'm gone for 12 hours out of the day between work and commuting. Who wants to fight traffic just to end up at the gym, then go home for a late dinner and finally crawl in bed? I mean, I'm the kind of person who needs 7-9 hours of sleep each night or I will Hulk Smash anyone who gets in my way. But I've got a new routine. I go straight from work to the gym, workout for an hour, then head home. Most of the time, there's almost no traffic on the way home, which is awesome. I come home, cook or reheat something I cooked over the weekend, shower, then go to bed. The only downside here is that I seem to be wide awake after working out lately. I am awake til around 10 or so, which is way later than I usually stay up (yes, I'm an old lady). But then I usually sleep like a rock. Wake and repeat.

It does get easier. Today's treadmill workout had me running for longer than I ever thought I could. I ran half a mile 3 times. It was a great feeling. I probably could've gone longer, but I wanted to do several spurts of shorter distances. When I started in January, I could hardly run 90 seconds without wanting to die. Today I ran for 8 minutes. That's over 5x as long as when I started! So exciting. I can't wait to see where I'm at in six months.

Step It Up

I'm really excited, because in about an hour, Alison and I will be attending our first step class. I haven't done a full step class in a few years, but since I've gotten my own step for the house (THANKS, DAD!), I have been doing a few 30 minute videos. Call me a nerd, but I *love* step workouts. It's fun and rhythmic, which is great for someone like me who can't dance but so desperately wants to be able to. In fact, I may or may not spend a lot of my free time rewatching old SYTYCD routines that I just love. I can't help myself.

One thing that I've discovered recently is how much less stressed I am in the evenings when I've worked out. There are LOTS of gyms near my office, so I've started going to a variety of gyms throughout the week immediately after work instead of fighting the traffic only to get to my gym and not be able to find a parking spot! Last night I was reading my book on the treadmill, accelerating and decelerating every few minutes. I got so into the story (the last five chapters, ya'll... I can't even tell you!) that I nearly fell off the treadmill when it slowed automatically for the cool down. That would've been so embarrassing. Guess I need to pay more attention!

Themed Posts

I've decided to try to implement some new themes to keep me motivated to blog. So look forward to

Motivation Monday - I will post a quote or two, a story I've found, or something else to keep you (and me!) motivated.

Transformation Tuesday - I'll post a picture showing where I started and where I am now. Not gonna lie, this one won't happen often simply because I don't exactly want to share my body with the world all the time. This may be a once-a-month thing.

Weight Loss Wednesday - I'll share my starting weight, previous Wednesday's weight, and current weight.

Foodie Friday - I'll share a recipe that I've fallen in love with, and I may even attempt to walk you through making it! (I say "attempt" because I am TERRIBLE about remembering to take pictures! This is part of the reason I never have pictures of activities at camp... Sorry, Mom.)

Selfie Sunday - Pretty self-explanatory (pun intended). I'm not a big selfie taker, unless I'm with Samuel, but I'll suffer through for ya'll.

These probably won't happen EVERY day of EVERY week. My goal is to blog every 2-4 days. I don't know why I'm so terrible about it. I love the idea of a blog, but I've never been great with the follow through. Guess that's just the procrastinator in me!

Meal Planning

In order to get better about controlling what I eat, I've had to become diligent with meal planning. I plan on Saturdays or Sundays, then I go to the grocery store to get stuff for the week. I try to prep most of my stuff on the weekend because I have no time in the evenings, especially now that I'm going to the gym almost every day. I don't get home til around 8, and by then, I'm ready to fall into bed. Then I get up the next morning and do it again, so cooking in the evening is just not an option.

I've also had to get used to bringing my lunch. I've never been a lunch-bringer. In grade school, I always bought my lunch unless we had pizza the night before that I could take to school. In college, I had the best dining halls in the history of ever. And 90% of the time that I was teaching, I would just have cafeteria food. Now we tend to order in a lot. Jimmy Johns gets a TON of business from us. But Jimmy Johns blows the majority of my calories for the day, so I've asked people not to ask me to order because I don't need it, and I can't say no. So bringing my lunch is the only way for me to stay on track. I'll plan for work lunches on Fridays, and occasionally we'll have an impromptu lunch date with the girls or something.

This week I made the Cheesy Chicken, Broccoli, and Rice Casserole, which will give me lunch all week. I'm planning on having some salmon a few nights this week, then I'll finish up the week with some Shrimp Zoodle Parmesan. All of my favorites foods packed into one week!

I'm logging everything on MyFitnessPal (username: lynnwesley), so feel free to friend me on there and keep me accountable. Even if I don't do well on a certain day, it's all being logged. Today I went almost 100 calories over :-/ but it's okay. There won't be perfect days every day, and I'm learning to be okay with that.

Clean-er Eating

Food is my number one struggle. I could work out all day every day, but if I don't have my food under control, I'm not gonna lose any weight. I hate it, especially when so many of my friends can just change what they eat and drop a ton of weight. It's so frustrating sometimes. I've cut back on my cokes significantly and had no change. I really have to work for my weight loss, and I know that it will end up being more special because I worked so hard for it, but right now, that's of little comfort. It's just annoying. Food is NOT my friend.

That's why I've been so excited to find some new food blogs (or rather, to have a best friend who finds new food blogs), especially Skinny Taste and Emily Bites. They both have great recipes that are good for your waistline but still taste great. My favorites have been the Shrimp Zoodle Parmesan and the Cheesy Chicken, Broccoli, and Rice Casserole. Both are delicious and under 400 calories!

I also have found a great breakfast food that is quick and easy. I make a variation of the egg muffins from the SkinnyTaste cookbook with egg yolks, egg whites, sausage, ham, and cheese. Two muffins are 133 calories and have tons of protein. I still can't eat first thing in the morning, so I have a high protein shake in the car on the way to work, then around 9:00, I eat the egg muffins. Then I can usually make it to 12:00 without being completely HANGRY. If I don't have them, I'm hungry at 10:30.

Anyways, as I find new recipes that I love, I'll be sharing them here. Several of my friends are getting healthier now too, so I hope they enjoy the recommendations.

BodyWorks is my jam

A few weeks ago, I joined LA Fitness and decided to try a class or two. On the suggestion of a coworker, I went to BodyWorks, a strength-training class, and I fell in LOVE. It's fun, it's tough, and it's full of people of all different fitness levels.

This week, Alison and I went to one of the gyms near work together. It was great having a workout buddy! Plus Alison is pretty much the greatest person to have with you if you need encouragement of any kind. She just exudes happiness. No, not happiness. Joy. Positivity. She encouraged me the whole time and never made fun of me or anything. We're planning on going every Tuesday and Thursday to a BodyWorks class. I can already feel that I'm getting stronger just in the few weeks that I've been doing this. I'm not strong.. but I'm stronger. And it feels good. I still don't like to sweat, but there aren't too many things that feel better than a good sweat from a tough workout. (FYI, one of those things is a cold shower after said-sweat.)

I joined a dietbet with Victoria and some of her friends, and I'm hoping that keeps me motivated for a few more weeks. This is usually the point that I start getting bored and making excuses. I need to push though. Encouragement is always welcome!

Finally Getting Serious

I started out almost ten pounds heavier than this at the beginning of the year. A few friends were running either at the gym or doing C25k, so I decided to try to get back into it. I love running, but I always made excuses not to, and I wanted to get back into it. I started running using C25k and tried eating better. Not as much fast food, cutting back my cokes, but not tracking food at all.

A few weeks ago, upon seeing a friend's incredible results since December, I decided, "That's it. It's serious this time. She did it, and we were almost the same size. I can do this!" (Also, it turns out, we were the exact same size, down to the tenth of a pound. She's hit her 50 pound mark, and she looks amazing!) I joined LA Fitness and started working out almost every day. I also started using MyFitnessPal to track my food, and that was a huge eye opener. Even when I was eating better, I was eating too much.

I've been doing meal prep as well. I bought the Erin Condren Wellness Journal and use it to plan my week. SkinnyTaste has been a huge help. I love the blog, and I bought her cookbook as well. My copy has flags all over it of things I want to try. I've had to modify some based on things I like and dislike, but it's helped me to keep things "skinny."

I'm still struggling to balance the fit-and-healthy lifestyle with hanging-out-with-friends lifestyle.. there aren't enough hours in the day! But this is a marathon, not a sprint. I can't make all of these changes immediately. Gradual is key. I don't want to burn out and quit, which is my normal reaction. So I'm making small changes even though it will take longer in hopes that it becomes a lifelong habit.